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Every Day Life

    Every Day Life

    Dear Moms: At Any Stage in Life

     

    2014

     

    Are you a mom going through any stage of the life we call “Motherhood”?

    Then this- this message is for you, and it’s finding its way straight from the deepest depths of my heart today…

    For the mom carrying your precious baby in your belly. For all the excitement, joy, thrills and fear that’s filling your body and mind. For the mom of the newborn baby that is having the hardest time figuring out why her baby is screaming- learning how to breastfeed for the first time- suffering from so much exhaustion that she can’t even feel anymore. For the mom trying to deal with your 3 year old, throwing constant temper tantrums in public- suffering with so much frustration you’re struggling to keep your anger under control. For the mom of the 5 year old leaving for school for the first time- ever. The tears you’ve shed, knowing that your baby is no longer a baby. It hits you- HARD. For the mom of the 6 year old heading to Kindergarten- going to school all. week. long. without you- you miss them so much, it hurts. For the mom of the sassy 8 year old that starts to realize they know absolutely everything. (Yes, I have an 8 year old, and no, it doesn’t start at the teenage years- a little eye roll here.) For all the times you find yourself telling your child they’re wrong, and gently informing them of what’s actually true. (No, zombies are NOT real, just because you read about them in a book.)

    For the mom of the preteen who is going through puberty early, and you aren’t ready for it. You’re scared of this new reality, and reality has sunk in a little too hard. For the mom that is always full of concern that she is raising her children up to be good people. For the prayers that the good influences in their life will far outweigh the bad. For the mom of the 16 year old trying to keep track of everything they’re doing, where they’re going, who they’re going to be with… The terror that fills your heart of what could happen, if your child- your almost adult child- falls into the wrong crowd. For the mom of the graduating child. How your heart must ache! You must have so many emotions, knowing that their adolescent years are over, and now, NOW they are making much bigger decisions for their life- their OWN life. Will they go to college? Will they find a job around home? Will they be moving to a different state? Do they have a girlfriend/boyfriend? Will they be taken away from you forever? You are tough as nails, Mom.

    For the mom of the college kid- saying goodbye as they drive away, or as you drop them off, feeling as if it will be forever and a day before you see them again, hold them again, or kiss them on the top of the head again. For the mom who has a strained relationship with her mom. For the anger and resentment that creeps up when you think about her or have a conversation with her. For the yearning of having the same type of beautiful relationship with your mom that your friend has with hers. For the mom who has fostered a child or adopted one. For the constant fear of having them torn away from you, and all the pain that your child is experiencing with their birth mother. For the new-found love that has crept into your heart for someone else’s child.

    For the mom of the child who has chosen their future love- their spouse- the one they’ve chosen to spend the rest of their life with- the one they’re replacing YOU with. For all the sad tears, the happy tears, the worries, the stabs in the heart, the prayers you send up to your Heavenly Father. For the mom who becomes a mother-in-law and now has another child to love- for your bravery, for that extra bit of love that you’ve found in your heart for him or her. For the mom who becomes a grandmother for the first time, the second time, the third time and so on. For the love, joy and happiness that comes pouring out of your heart. For the prayers that you send up to your Heavenly Father, once again. For the concerns you hide, praying that you’ve raised a good child, so they can raise their own good children. For the mom that loses her own mom- for the gut-wrenching tears that won’t stop.. for the emptiness inside of your heart that no one else can possibly fill. For the days you wonder why this happened, and then realize you’ll never actually know why.

    For the mom having a miscarriage and no matter how hard she tries, cannot get pregnant and carry a baby full term. For the heartache of realizing, she may never be able to. For the tears that you shed all day and all night. For your discouragement and feeling all alone. For the mom that loses a child. For the impossible that has become possible. For the realization that the tiny little baby that you brought into this world has been so cruelly ripped away from you- forever. No one knows how this burns a hole in your heart that can never be filled again. No one understands the emptiness that you feel inside with each birthday, Christmas, Easter and family gathering that you have.  No one understands this, but you. You feel so lonely- so, SO sad. Sad isn’t even the word for that emotion. Terrified that it could happen to one of your other children.

    For the mom that has watched her baby go through all of these stages, and then become a mother or father. For the emotions that are so welled up inside of you. For the mother that becomes a great grandmother. For the generations that you have had the utmost privilege of seeing unfold and all the love that has grown in your heart. For the concerns you have, but rarely ever voice. For the realization that you are getting older and changes need to be made. For the mom, the grandmother, the great grandmother, and some, even the great great grandmother that has passed away and left such a beautiful legacy behind her.

    This is for you.

    This is for US.

    God takes such great care of us. He loves us, no matter what we’re going through.

    He sees our tears, knows our worries, knows our pain, and He knows exactly what to do with it.

    He is always forming us into who He wants us to be. We may go through a lot of hard and troublesome days, but He is always at our beck and call. Some days just seem unbearable- to the point where we don’t know how to make it through, but we do somehow. He holds us up, He carries us, He protects us, He lives in us and through us. All of the long nights of exhaustion, the tears of great and utter loss, the terrible, vicious stages of life, all of this is forming us into the beautiful moms that He is molding us to be. Moms are incredible beings. Moms are capable of accomplishing almost the impossible.

    Value what you have, Mom.

    Even if you don’t feel that it is enough- it is.

    YOU are enough.

    Even if you’re lying on the couch and can’t move because you’re so tired and worn. Your baby, your child, knows that you love them. You loved them enough to stay up all night with them, so they could feel your love for them. That is enough. If you share a concern with your now-adult child, that is enough. They know you love them, and are happy you care.

    To the mom who no longer has a mom- I feel your pain. You wonder how to continue in life without her. Your mom is your mom. No one can replace her. But life goes on somehow. Years pass, and although the pain doesn’t lessen, you realize that this is how it was supposed to be. You’re a stronger woman now, because you’ve become yourself. You haven’t relied on your mom for ANYTHING. She will always be a part of you, but this is who you were to become all along. Stronger, bolder, but much more sensitive, empathetic, wiser, and a little less dependent. Time doesn’t make the pain go away. YOU become a slightly different version of YOURSELF, placing a different perspective on life and death. That is all.

    We are all moms at different stages in life. Some are living their lives in peace, harmony and living the dream. Some are going through some of the hardest, most challenging days of their lives. Some are kissing their child goodbye for what seems like will be an eternity. Some are experiencing so much happiness, they’re walking on air. Some are depressed and can’t find their way out. Some are older, the more wiser of us all, and have learned how to stay humble, meek, and know when to say something and when not to. Some are breathing their last breaths on this earth, waiting to go to a better place.

    All of these stages in life are forming us into who we are yet to be.

    Don’t waste your energy on the unnecessary.

    What I mean is, we tend to reminisce over past days, weeks, months and years and wish we had done things differently. Don’t do this to yourself. Take the present and use it. Look to the future and realize that it will be here tomorrow. Love your children, regardless of their age. Be a good mom. Be the best mom that you possibly can be. Be a mom that knows she is good enough, knowing that her children love her, even though the laundry is still piling up and your son doesn’t have a “clean” pair of jeans to wear that day. (I say “clean” because most of the time, my children think their clothes are dirty if they wear them for more than 10 minutes!) The laundry WILL get done, and it’s okay if you have to open their hamper and take yesterday’s jeans off the top for them to wear that day. They aren’t dirty anyway!

    Our children love us, because we are their moms. We love our moms, because they are our moms. We were the very first one to love our child. Our mom was the very first one to love us. As children, we can’t help but love our moms. They are the most beautiful people in the world. WE are the most beautiful people in the world.

    Always remember this: God has blessed us with such a beautiful life, story and legacy to leave behind. Let’s do this life justice and live it to its fullest, knowing that this life will pass before us way too quickly.

    God bless and be humble!

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